Standing At The Crossroads
Dear Coach Fabulous
I’m a bit mixed up about the course I should be following just now. My sense is that I’m at something of a crossroads, but there are no signposts. How do I work out where I should go from here? Looking within doesn’t seem to give me any pointers and the range of things I’m looking at feels overwhelming. I’m also unwell with a bout of shingles and I wonder if I shouldn’t do too much until that goes or is that me just drifting along, ignoring what I should be doing?
Dazed and Confused
Dear Dazed and Confused
The best thing for you to do right now is to accept that you are in overwhelm on a lot of different levels - physically, mentally, emotionally and quite probably spiritually - and let that be OK. This is not the time to take on dealing with all the issues in your life, but a time to deal with just what is in front of you right now. Your first priority has to be your health. When you give yourself proper rest, rather than stressing out wanting things to be different, then as your body recuperates your clarity of mind will start to return too.
Shingles affects the nervous system, so quality of rest is vital for you now. That includes resting the mind and the emotions. Try to be mindful about how you're going to achieve that rest, by scheduling time into your day for meditation or simply being quiet and unstimulated by TV, radio, internet, phones etc. Let other people deal with their own problems and keep well away from anyone who drains your energy. Keep your focus on the present moment - how you're feeling and what your body needs in terms of light, food, rest and relaxation. That doesn't mean 24/7 beansprouts and tofu either - this is not about rigidity, but making sure that you're taking care of yourself and enjoying yourself too.
When your body is rested, your mind will naturally calm down and become clearer. You can speed that process by making sure that the forms of meditation or relaxation you do are simple and joyful for you. Give up trying hard to work it all out and focus on simply being rested. The paradox is that if you stop trying to get answers, I guarantee you they will appear as a byproduct of committing to your wellness. Use this time to feel into simple, basic guidance from your body on what you need and build up from there. Make sure that your first questions of the day are 'What would I like to do today? What would feel good? I appreciate that you're going to have to juggle other commitments, but it's your willingness to commit to yourself that's going to get you out of the doldrums.
Really watch your mental patterns around worrying. The nervous system aspect of your illness indicates a burnout from chronic anxiety or stress, so your body is trying to tell you something. Treat your illness like a shamanic test - it's come to shed light on behaviour patterns or beliefs that are no longer helpful to you, so honour it and let it do its job. Notice where your thoughts go. If you find yourself worrying, be creative and find a way to distract your mind or put it to good use imagining something fun you want to bring into your life. You could come out of this hiatus with a level of inner peace that you may never have imagined.
There are two simple messages here - accept and rest. You really don't need to do anything else for the minute. Don't worry about drifting along and not dealing with things, as there's not a lot you can achieve when your energy is low and it's certainly not the best time to make decisions. If you get very in touch with your own energy, you'll know when it's time to move into the next phase of getting clear on what you want from your life. Just keep choosing things to do and people to see that make you happy and your joie de vivre will return.
Finally, crossroads are really powerful places to be. From here you could create the kind of life you really want, as opposed to the one you think you could have. Make sure you build the kind of energy that can open you to clear guidance and bring out what's really in your heart. Don't forget, even if it looks like you're doing nothing right now, there's still a lot going on. Trust the process and let yourself off the hook.
Coach Fabulous
If you have an issue you’d like guidance on, need some help finding direction or could just do with a bit of inspiration, email CoachFabulousCo@aol.com and a little cyber-coaching will appear, as if by magic. Of course, the names will be changed to protect the innocent (and the not-so-innocent). All material © 2006 Alison Porter
I’m a bit mixed up about the course I should be following just now. My sense is that I’m at something of a crossroads, but there are no signposts. How do I work out where I should go from here? Looking within doesn’t seem to give me any pointers and the range of things I’m looking at feels overwhelming. I’m also unwell with a bout of shingles and I wonder if I shouldn’t do too much until that goes or is that me just drifting along, ignoring what I should be doing?
Dazed and Confused
Dear Dazed and Confused
The best thing for you to do right now is to accept that you are in overwhelm on a lot of different levels - physically, mentally, emotionally and quite probably spiritually - and let that be OK. This is not the time to take on dealing with all the issues in your life, but a time to deal with just what is in front of you right now. Your first priority has to be your health. When you give yourself proper rest, rather than stressing out wanting things to be different, then as your body recuperates your clarity of mind will start to return too.
Shingles affects the nervous system, so quality of rest is vital for you now. That includes resting the mind and the emotions. Try to be mindful about how you're going to achieve that rest, by scheduling time into your day for meditation or simply being quiet and unstimulated by TV, radio, internet, phones etc. Let other people deal with their own problems and keep well away from anyone who drains your energy. Keep your focus on the present moment - how you're feeling and what your body needs in terms of light, food, rest and relaxation. That doesn't mean 24/7 beansprouts and tofu either - this is not about rigidity, but making sure that you're taking care of yourself and enjoying yourself too.
When your body is rested, your mind will naturally calm down and become clearer. You can speed that process by making sure that the forms of meditation or relaxation you do are simple and joyful for you. Give up trying hard to work it all out and focus on simply being rested. The paradox is that if you stop trying to get answers, I guarantee you they will appear as a byproduct of committing to your wellness. Use this time to feel into simple, basic guidance from your body on what you need and build up from there. Make sure that your first questions of the day are 'What would I like to do today? What would feel good? I appreciate that you're going to have to juggle other commitments, but it's your willingness to commit to yourself that's going to get you out of the doldrums.
Really watch your mental patterns around worrying. The nervous system aspect of your illness indicates a burnout from chronic anxiety or stress, so your body is trying to tell you something. Treat your illness like a shamanic test - it's come to shed light on behaviour patterns or beliefs that are no longer helpful to you, so honour it and let it do its job. Notice where your thoughts go. If you find yourself worrying, be creative and find a way to distract your mind or put it to good use imagining something fun you want to bring into your life. You could come out of this hiatus with a level of inner peace that you may never have imagined.
There are two simple messages here - accept and rest. You really don't need to do anything else for the minute. Don't worry about drifting along and not dealing with things, as there's not a lot you can achieve when your energy is low and it's certainly not the best time to make decisions. If you get very in touch with your own energy, you'll know when it's time to move into the next phase of getting clear on what you want from your life. Just keep choosing things to do and people to see that make you happy and your joie de vivre will return.
Finally, crossroads are really powerful places to be. From here you could create the kind of life you really want, as opposed to the one you think you could have. Make sure you build the kind of energy that can open you to clear guidance and bring out what's really in your heart. Don't forget, even if it looks like you're doing nothing right now, there's still a lot going on. Trust the process and let yourself off the hook.
Coach Fabulous
If you have an issue you’d like guidance on, need some help finding direction or could just do with a bit of inspiration, email CoachFabulousCo@aol.com and a little cyber-coaching will appear, as if by magic. Of course, the names will be changed to protect the innocent (and the not-so-innocent). All material © 2006 Alison Porter
posted by Coach Fabulous at 6:59 pm
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